Advice – Not For / By Everyone

Don’t you love telling others what you think?

Some take it a step further and want to impress their views upon others. Some go to the extreme and stop at nothing until others believe in their opinions.

Now this is fine until we go into the realm of giving advice. Not many understand the magnitude of this task. Not many realize the delicateness of this position. Some continue to spew out information they think it is fitting. Some destroy lives with such advice they give with little thought.

The core problem is how advice is given. Many go by what they feel, or even worse, speculate. Emotionally driven advice. Brilliantly stupid.

Remember, this is about giving advice, so I’m going doubly hard on it. Call me an arse if you like.

I’ve a couple of friends who gave advice on the fly. “<Insert name of victim>, I think you should not do that… I think… I think…” Now the best question to ask, if you are on the receiving end, is “Why”; and watch what kind of backing the “adviser” has to say about his / her advice.

Advice must be given based on factual grounds. Don’t lead a person if you yourself are partially blind. Do you understand the person you are giving advice to? Do you fully comprehend the problem at hand? I could get into intensive details about understanding a person and comprehending a problem, but lets keep things simple. If, you do not know the person’s deepest strengths and weaknesses, seen it played out in various real life situations, seen how his / her character morphs into various forms when meeting different people; then you might not know him / her well enough. If you have observed but cannot make a consistent assessment throughout, it means you are FAR from understanding the person enough to be an adviser. Comprehending problems? You better know the issue from ALL sides, fully understand how the problem was conceived and that means doing more homework than talking to just one person.

If you have accomplished everything above, then you actually care enough to be an honest adviser. It then boils down to how the advice is given. Its just like writing a book. You may have all the brilliant ideas, but if you can’t phrase it and deal it out in proper doses, your ideas are as good as trash.

The final point is often ignored. Are you a testimony of your advice? There are so many doctors that cannot swallow their own pills.

I’ve seen so many “advisers” jumping to give others a piece of their mind and that irks the hell out of me.

It’s not supposed to be a game. You’re dealing with a life. Get your bearings right.
If you have to walk blindly, don’t drag another person into the same pit with you.